confessions of a politically-correct person
I believe that a person should take extra care in selecting and using the words to express himself and must also ensure that the words are used in their proper context. And by this, I mean they should strive to do this in their daily conversations and not confine it only to their writing....
But what happens when other people fail to appreciate the subtleties in your choice of words? How do you feel when you take great pains to structure your sentences, to choose the most politically-correct words in your conversations and later find out that other people could not even bother about it? And other people still manage to misunderstand you?
I must fairly admit that many bizzare 'attributes' and 'characteristics' have been attached to me a result of my attempts to be politically-correct in my daily conversations; I have been labeled cold, impersonal, stubborn, difficult and patronizing over what some would view as my 'zealousness' to be precise and politically-correct most of the time.
But then, I must also add that the term 'correct' is subjective and is often frought with controversies; therefore, even though I claim to be, my 'political correctness' may turn out not to be correct after all. However, as far I could recall, not many people, if any, have ever pointed out to me whenever my 'political correctness' is incorrect; rather, they seemed to prefer to diagnose my 'political incorrectness' (if I may invent such phrase) as an inherent flaw in my personality and as growing evidence of my often obnoxious behavior.
At times, I wish I could stop being so concerned about the words I should use and just use them as flagrantly as everybody else. Truth be told, being so uptight about the words you use consumes your mind and taxes your soul. And when somebody chides you for lacking warmth and tact, you keep propping up these weak and lame arguments to defend yourself; arguments which you deeply know is as fragile as a house of cards. Deep down inside, you know life would be easier if you just admit it and let it go.
But if I were to do that, I felt that I would not be myself anymore; as weird as it may sound, I can't help but to try my best to be 'politically correct' all the time.
So, in the end, I should choose whether I should condemned myself to an eternal pursuit of trying to be politically correct and only hope that other people will not misunderstand me OR I should learn to loosen up and allow everybody to truly understand me...
But what happens when other people fail to appreciate the subtleties in your choice of words? How do you feel when you take great pains to structure your sentences, to choose the most politically-correct words in your conversations and later find out that other people could not even bother about it? And other people still manage to misunderstand you?
I must fairly admit that many bizzare 'attributes' and 'characteristics' have been attached to me a result of my attempts to be politically-correct in my daily conversations; I have been labeled cold, impersonal, stubborn, difficult and patronizing over what some would view as my 'zealousness' to be precise and politically-correct most of the time.
But then, I must also add that the term 'correct' is subjective and is often frought with controversies; therefore, even though I claim to be, my 'political correctness' may turn out not to be correct after all. However, as far I could recall, not many people, if any, have ever pointed out to me whenever my 'political correctness' is incorrect; rather, they seemed to prefer to diagnose my 'political incorrectness' (if I may invent such phrase) as an inherent flaw in my personality and as growing evidence of my often obnoxious behavior.
At times, I wish I could stop being so concerned about the words I should use and just use them as flagrantly as everybody else. Truth be told, being so uptight about the words you use consumes your mind and taxes your soul. And when somebody chides you for lacking warmth and tact, you keep propping up these weak and lame arguments to defend yourself; arguments which you deeply know is as fragile as a house of cards. Deep down inside, you know life would be easier if you just admit it and let it go.
But if I were to do that, I felt that I would not be myself anymore; as weird as it may sound, I can't help but to try my best to be 'politically correct' all the time.
So, in the end, I should choose whether I should condemned myself to an eternal pursuit of trying to be politically correct and only hope that other people will not misunderstand me OR I should learn to loosen up and allow everybody to truly understand me...
posted by wanaimran at
6:00 PM
9 Comments:
I guess this is one of those things which will come to you naturally when you try not to think too much about it...
misunderstandings are part of life..
there is no perfect language (with an exception, which im not going to go through here)..
"allow everybody to truly understand me..."
come on... thats purely imagination.. how can that be possible?
sure, mistunderstandings are part of life...
however, how does distinguish between the purely accidental misunderstandings and misunderstandings that come about due to the failure on our own behalf?
when does one could ignore misunderstandings as part and parcel of life and when does one should take it as a sign of a fundamental deficiency in one's relationships with other people?
if one sense some misunderstandings of some importance, explain.
if one sense some misunderstandings of something not very important, if u don't have time for it just leave it.. who cares?
again it falls back to the question of how does one 'sense' a misunderstanding to be one of importance and which is not... of course, different people would perceive it differenly...
quite understandably, friction sometimes do arise in our day-to-day interactions with other people; and exactly because of that, we have to learn to not make a big deal out of every single problem which we encounter with other people....
but when one feels that there is a more fundamental reason, a deeper cause to the breakdown of one's communication with others, i personally felt that one is obliged to do some soul-searching, to reflect on one's actions and its repercussions towards other people....
and this post represents my first step in accomplishing that task...
oh.. i see..
"we have to learn to not make a big deal out of every single problem which we encounter with other people...." agreed.
this soul-searching thing.. or rather, muhasabah diri.. is best be done as frequent as possible.. some sufi scholars recommends us to muhasabah every night before we sleep.. and it is not confined to our relations with other ppl, but all round aspects of our life; relation with our 'self'; relation with God; our character; akhlak; mindset; beliefs; our stands; our wants and desires; etc etc...
let us be among those mutafakkirun, muta'aqqilun, the ones who reflect.. and constantly put an effort to improve oneselves, toward becoming the 'perfect' human being or 'insan kamil'.. (im using the word perfect very deliberately here, i didn't mean by perfection as to achieve everything to the maximum, but rather, maintaining the right balance of things, and to put things at their true and proper places)
haarrghhh.. these things... very easy to say they are.. but to do them, much more difficult.. but.. do them we must...
(am i being too much of a theologian here?)
i think you're being too much about everything....
i must say that i felt that some of your comments are more suited to be the subject of a real-time conversation and i would appreciate it if you would strictly observe that fact...
nonetheless, that does not negate the fact that some of the comments were enlightening...
bottom line, please do it sparingly...
oh, i thought u like lengthy comments... ok then, i'll keep them short next time..
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