fool me once, fool me twice

Voicing out concerns, pointing out flaws in a system and gently chiding others to buckle up are not the easiest things to do in a friendship.

Some friendships endure, most does not. Even for the ones that does, it just doesn't feel the same anymore.

There is a sense of apprehension within you the next time you meet that person; you're anxious to know how will the person react to it in the long run, or whether they will at point in the future, suddenly bring the matter up from out of the blue.

It is a precarious and delicate situation. Besides, it always leave a bad aftertaste even long after it has passed.

That is the reason why I usually try my best to refrain myself from immediately or openly speaking out my concerns.

Ideally, you expect the targeted individual to, at the very least, try to genuinely listen to what you have to say.

But the world is not an ideal place. Fair enough.

After all, you cannot assume everyone to be open-minded, mature and insightful, can you?

However, what bugs me most about this is when the person voicing those concerns gets the rap for speaking out.

Even more frustrating is when the person who have the right to voice those concerns are cowed into silence out of fear of possible reciprocal actions.

How then does one cope with such situations? How does one voice one's concerns to someone who refuses to listen at all?

Is it true that one have just to keep trying and trying? What's the use of banging one's head into the wall if it's clear that it will not bring it down?

I always believe that the best insight or revelation should come from within. But being humans, we cannot always rely on our conscience to direct us in the right moral path all the time.

Most of the time, we will rely on the opinions of those closest to us, those who know us well enough, those who work with us, those who are under our supervision, those who have been in our position before to be our moral compass.

How else can we hope to improve ourselves if we shut off such avenues for betterment?

I think that in denying ourselves that need to be corrected by others, we are performing a great injustice to our own self.

One may doubt another person's intention to comment and criticize us, but does the source really matter if deep down inside, we believe that the comments and criticisms are true?

Besides, not everyone spend their entire lives thinking up pointed criticisms to be thrown at others. No one is so important to warrant that much attention.

Indeed, refusing to listen to what other people have got to say about you - good or bad - serves little to preserve your image or standing; instead it reinforces the notion of how deluded one can be.

But what about those who have the right to criticize? Should be keep their opinions to themselves? Should they be silenced once and for all? Should they be flagrantly labeled as mischief-makers or a threat to solidarity?

What hope - if any - is left for them? Should they continue speaking out, praying that one day change will come and their actions will be vindicated?

It is a grim outlook and the light at the end of the tunnel seemed a very long way off.

Indeed, sometimes when I am faced with such predicaments, it makes me wonder who is the foolish one of the two actually.