a bout of sentimentalism, fear and confusion
Hey, I'm back in London.
I realized that my last few posts have been rather incoherent, mindless and sort of have a restraint feel to them; whenever I try to write in the past few days, my posts will tend to degenerate into a confusing mix of several topics at the end even though I had only one topic in mind in the beginning.
Even though some people would prefer to call such free flow of ideas as a burst of creative energy, mine felt more like several different voices speaking at the same time in my mind, each trying to outdo the other for attention.
It was difficult to form clear thoughts and follow them through, and this state I believe have manifested itself in my previous writings; rather than going directly to the point, I have a greater inclination to ramble and rave than I normally do.
I pondered over this matter throughout my flight back to London and I came to the conclusion that the reason for this was because my mind was burdened by the sheer emotional weight of leaving my family, friends and home.
Feelings of despair, fear, anticipation and joy periodically crossed my mind - a dangerous and unstable mix - causing me to be too caught up in the emotional conundrum, hence leaving my capacity to think rationally and reasonably to be greatly reduced.
And if you still insist to pen your thoughts - notwithstanding the glut you are in - it's as if you are viewing the world through those 3D glasses or that your views are obscured by a thick impenetrable fog - the observations you make will only be valid under certain carefully fine- tuned situations and seemed myopic (no pun intended).
The conclusions you derived will lack the depth, perspective and piercing quality which one will normally expect from anyone who is always mindful of their thoughts; these are exactly the qualities which were severely absent from my past few posts.
Having deprived of the ability to think things thoroughly and controlling my train of thoughts, I am slightly worried over the quality of my next post, which partly explains the conspicuous absence of any new posts for the past few days.
There are plenty of ideas for my next posts floating in my mind at the moment but I just can't bring myself to develop those ideas further. It is not enough for me for those ideas not only to fly, but to soar and for now, those ideas have not gained sufficient momentum yet.
It may take a while but as long as it is not terminal, I am willing to spare my patience.
I realized that my last few posts have been rather incoherent, mindless and sort of have a restraint feel to them; whenever I try to write in the past few days, my posts will tend to degenerate into a confusing mix of several topics at the end even though I had only one topic in mind in the beginning.
Even though some people would prefer to call such free flow of ideas as a burst of creative energy, mine felt more like several different voices speaking at the same time in my mind, each trying to outdo the other for attention.
It was difficult to form clear thoughts and follow them through, and this state I believe have manifested itself in my previous writings; rather than going directly to the point, I have a greater inclination to ramble and rave than I normally do.
I pondered over this matter throughout my flight back to London and I came to the conclusion that the reason for this was because my mind was burdened by the sheer emotional weight of leaving my family, friends and home.
Feelings of despair, fear, anticipation and joy periodically crossed my mind - a dangerous and unstable mix - causing me to be too caught up in the emotional conundrum, hence leaving my capacity to think rationally and reasonably to be greatly reduced.
And if you still insist to pen your thoughts - notwithstanding the glut you are in - it's as if you are viewing the world through those 3D glasses or that your views are obscured by a thick impenetrable fog - the observations you make will only be valid under certain carefully fine- tuned situations and seemed myopic (no pun intended).
The conclusions you derived will lack the depth, perspective and piercing quality which one will normally expect from anyone who is always mindful of their thoughts; these are exactly the qualities which were severely absent from my past few posts.
Having deprived of the ability to think things thoroughly and controlling my train of thoughts, I am slightly worried over the quality of my next post, which partly explains the conspicuous absence of any new posts for the past few days.
There are plenty of ideas for my next posts floating in my mind at the moment but I just can't bring myself to develop those ideas further. It is not enough for me for those ideas not only to fly, but to soar and for now, those ideas have not gained sufficient momentum yet.
It may take a while but as long as it is not terminal, I am willing to spare my patience.
posted by wanaimran at
5:39 PM
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