friendship 101
Do we have any right to 'evaluate' our friends?
I am rather uncomfortable at the way the question is phrased; 'evaluate' is such a punishing word.
I think all of us are entitled to our own thoughts about our friends. The important thing is what we do with such information floating in our heads; do we hide them indefinitely or do we kindly share our thoughts with the person in question?
It is true that a friendship requires a healthful amount of restraint and modesty, but when this modesty begins to infringe on the truth, I believe that honesty is always preferable to modesty - as the truth is always preferable to lies.
But some people - for some unknown reason - do not share this view.
I mean, isn't it more sincere to tell your friends your true views about him rather than glossing the truth just to keep him happy? Do you think he will be happy when he finds out that we have been hiding the truth from him all this time?
Expecting someone to always sing praises about you and at the same time, hide the bad things he felt about you from your knowledge does not sound like it will make a long and lasting friendship to me.
In fact, it sounds like a very primaeval notion of friendship, lacking sincerity and honesty.
In the end, it all boils down to how one respond to criticisms from others; I believe that when someone criticizes you, how you respond to the criticism is more indicative of your personality and attitude rather than the actual content of the criticism itself.
I am rather uncomfortable at the way the question is phrased; 'evaluate' is such a punishing word.
I think all of us are entitled to our own thoughts about our friends. The important thing is what we do with such information floating in our heads; do we hide them indefinitely or do we kindly share our thoughts with the person in question?
It is true that a friendship requires a healthful amount of restraint and modesty, but when this modesty begins to infringe on the truth, I believe that honesty is always preferable to modesty - as the truth is always preferable to lies.
But some people - for some unknown reason - do not share this view.
I mean, isn't it more sincere to tell your friends your true views about him rather than glossing the truth just to keep him happy? Do you think he will be happy when he finds out that we have been hiding the truth from him all this time?
Expecting someone to always sing praises about you and at the same time, hide the bad things he felt about you from your knowledge does not sound like it will make a long and lasting friendship to me.
In fact, it sounds like a very primaeval notion of friendship, lacking sincerity and honesty.
In the end, it all boils down to how one respond to criticisms from others; I believe that when someone criticizes you, how you respond to the criticism is more indicative of your personality and attitude rather than the actual content of the criticism itself.
posted by wanaimran at
1:44 PM
1 Comments:
I agree that in a real friendship, you should be able to critisize your friend. However, before critisizing, you should think for a while to ensure that your critisicm is done in the best interests of your friend and it is constructive critisicm.I have received various negative comments from my friends before, and I didnt like it, but I was glad they could be honest with me. And that strengthened the friendship even more.
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