dancing into the new year

2005 have been a year of many new endeavors for me, where I - to a varying degree of success and competency - wrote, acted, danced, travelled and skied. I did certain things which I would have never dreamed of ever doing in the previous year.

I guess that's the wonderful thing about new years for me - it teases us with the possibility, presents us with the opportunity and eventually gives us the means to start something new.

I do not know what will the new year have in store for me, but one thing for sure, I am going to be way busier then.

With that in mind, I am not wishing for any particular thing to happen to me, or for someone to do something for me, or to be able to go someplace sometime soon; no, I won't wish for those kind of stuffs.

All I pray for the new year is for the ability to find some tranquilty, some solitude and calmness in the midst of all the things I will have to do next year.

Some people like the feeling of being swept away by the unceasing and torential currents of their daily routines. They make themselves so worked up with their work and fill their heads with worries so much so that they cannot think of anything else. Indeed, I reckon that these people know of no other way live their lives.

But then again, I am making a grave simplification here; some people do not have the choice to refuse that kind of lifestyle, and some chooses it because it makes them feel good about themselves.

I guess it depends on what you wish to accomplish at the end of it all, as soon as the dust settles down or the sound fades off. Besides, I don't pretend to be an expert at living life to the fullest myself.

That is not to suggest that one should take life trivially or carelessly; we need to be on our toes and to look where we are stepping next. But sometimes we tend to look ahead too much or to where we are going to step next too often, that we forget to take in the scenery around us.

Of course, it is easier said than done. It is all too simple for us to be swept away by the tides of our lives and to eventually lose sight of the shore. Certain things are just beyond our control and reckoning.

Naturally, all of us will have our busy days, days when our minds are occupied to its brim, days that we just wish would hurry up and end as soon as possible.

But even then, I believe that we have the choice to make some space for some moments of calmness and clarity. Moments to recollect our thoughts, re-examine them and cast them in a new light.

To be able to savour those moments would truly mean that we stand a good chance to overcome almost everything that life might throw at us. And to be able to do that in turn implies that you have the great ability to cope.

It is not an easy thing to do actually, coping with stuffs. It requires a paradoxical mix of the strength and resilience of the mind coupled with its flexibility and dexterity.

One must be strong enough to grasp incoming challenges at its hand but graceful enough to dance with it according to our whims.

But once you have mastered that ability - the ability to cope - I am certain that you will be able to glide through life a little bit better.

For the ability to cope is for me personally, a sure sign of wisdom.

Happy New Year 2006 everyone!

fools rush in...

These past few days running up to the new year have been to me like a blur of images and memories.

People rush in and out of my life, events unfold and abruptly ends, stories shared and immediately set aside, the thought of work being gradually pushed to the back of my mind whilst at the same time begging to be attended to.

As much as I wish that I could remain in a sentimental, nostalgaic and reflective mood at the moment, I'm afraid that I do not have that luxury now.

There are too many things to be attended to - revisions for the new year test, problem sheets to finish, essays to write, dances to choreograph, costumes to design and manage, guests to entertain and a household to maintain.

It is one of those times when everyday seemed to rush by you and you find yourself trying to hold on to something, trying to grapple on anything that could give a sense of perspective and some peace of mind.

It is the time when the flow of time is not measured in how many hours or days have passed but rather how many things did you manage to accomplish in a single day or week.

I know that life consists of a series of flurry of activities and events, but somehow the word 'flurry' doesn't quite justify the present situation I am in.

You wish you could be given some breathing space but before you could settle down and take some time off, you are haunted by the guilt and nagging feeling that you should be doing something more useful and productive with your time.

At the end of the day, you just have to go with the flow and try to enjoy the ride along the way. Besides, a new year with an extra second inserted into it couldn't be all that bad, could it?

skiing - physical and mental acrobatics

Skiing is really fun once you get the hang of it (but then again, doesn't that apply to most of everything?) especially when you are skiing down the slopes, making turns, exploring new routes, taking in the surroundings; there is a mix of a sense of wonder, exhiliration and urgency to it which makes it so refreshing.

When I first arrived at the ski resort, I must admit that I doubted whether I will be able to ski competently at the end of the ski trip. But now that it's over, I can safely say that it is one of the new things I enjoyed in a very long time.

At a certain level, this ski trip augments the notion that one can achieve whatever one wishes as long as one sets one's mind to it and realistically follow it through; it shows the importance of willpower as much as physical prowess.

I believe that the key lies in putting a reasonable expectation of oneself and to know one's limits and capabilities because throughout the ski trip, the singular thought which striked me again and again is the realization that being wise means being able to cope and wisest are those who knows not.

When the aim for the day is to better and improve oneself, it certainly cannot be helped that one's ego will play a huge role in the process - our ego will fuel the need to do better, our ego reminds us the pain of losing one's face, our ego drives us to be ahead of others whatever the cost.

But at the end of the day, you need to re-examine what exactly are we trying to gain, for what purpose and for whom - for our own gratification or the admiration of others.

The company I had for the past few days during the ski trip have been very gracious and kind. We manage to discuss a lot of things - delicate ones to downright crappy ones - openly and honestly.

As a result, my perception towards them has been changed forever; never again will I see them in the same light again. Now, I have a greater sense of respect and tolerance for them and valuable insights into their psyche and personality.

I can only hope that they manage to gain similar insights into my own.

The ski trip also reinforces the notion that one should never take anything for granted; something which might be a nuisance in one situation might turn out to be something one desperately longs for in another.

It is easy to dismiss how difficult it is to to bring your closest friends together in the same room every night to play cards or discuss things.

It is also equally easy to dismiss how mush effort needs to be invested to be good at something, because I felt that as we get older, our determination to learn something new and to patiently acquire a new skill will slowly diminish.

And when you put it in that respect, being young doesn't always mean that your age consists only of single digit. Instead, I believe that being young implies the ability to keep an open mind, to nurture trust and to humbly learn anything worth learning.

In short, I believe that keeping one's mind open is the ultimate fountain of youth.

This is important because as we get older, we become hardened with experience - we will be tricked, cheated, backstabbed; we will have to deal with incompetencies, inefficiencies; we starts compartmentalizing our lives into neat and clearly defined activities and time slots; we chase our routine from one appoinments to another.

Some people will consider all of this to be the sign of maturity or of wisdom. We feel that we could easily navigate the turbulent and unpredictable eddies and currents of our lives now that we have acquired these 'notions' and 'presumptions' under our belt.

But I beg to differ - giving in to cynicism and pesimism doesn't say much about the strength of a person's thoughts but only the sheer weakness of the their mind.

Overall, the ski trip turns out to be more than just an exercise in physical agility but also a test of strength of character and courage to hope. I doubt many people could claim they manage to do all that during their holidays.

Happy holidays everyone!