adakah kita telah kehilangan nama?

KEHILANGAN NAMA
Allahyarham Dato' Usman Awang

Kerana kau seorang yang tak bernama
Kau akan ditangkap
Jika politikmu lain dari yang ditentu;
Kerana kau seorang yang tak bernama
Pondokmu akan dirobohkan
Jika kau tak mengisi borang permintaan;
Kerana kau seorang yg tak bernama
Tanah yg baru diteroka akan diambil
Jika kau tak punya surat T.O.L.;
Kerana kau seorang yang tak bernama
Bahasamu harus dikorbankan
Jika tidak kau dituduh perkauman.

Siapa saja selain dari nama tak bernama
Boleh berontak boleh berteriak selantang suara
Dia akan dipujuk diusapi hati marahnya
Jika dia ada di sebuah pulau
Pulau itu akan dianugerahkan padanya;
Jika dia ada di dalam negeri
Marilah tinggal di Residency.
Jika dia ada di wilayah timur
Para pemimpin akan mengunjunginya
Membujuk dan menjanjikan tiap permintaan.

Apabila kau seorang tak bernama
Jangan kau tanyakan ladang-ladang itu siapa punya
Jangan kau tanyakan kemerdekaan dan pangkalan tentera
Jangan kau tanyakan lombong-lombong itu milik siapa
Jangan kau gusar pada bangunan-bangunan besar
Jangan kamu sebutkan nama-nama sekolah yang makmur
Dan bertanyakan apa bahasa pengantar;
Dengan pertanyaan itu kau dimurkai
Seorang perkauman yang dibenci
Oleh juara bangsamu sendiri.

Seorang yang namanya tak bernama
Tinggallah di pondok buruk itu
Jika pondok itu pusaka halal dari moyangmu;
Tanamlah padi di sawah kecil terpencil
Jika sawah itu warisan sah dari ayahmu;
Berdirilah di tangga bangunan dengan songkok dan samping
Jika kau beroleh jawatan budak suruhan;
Menorehlah di ladang-ladang besar
Bekerjalah di lombong-lombong saudagar
Jika kau mendapat kartu seorang buruh;
Hantarlah anak-anakmu ke sekolah berdekatan
Yang kita megahkan dengan nama 'kebangsaan'

Demikianlah kau telah kehilangan nama
Yang telah dikebumikan dalam seribu ucapan.

luxury or right?

I read with interest Charlotte's comment on my previous post; she said:

"Capable leaders don't become politicians in malaysia. No one's ever taught us that maybe we should give back to society when we are in the position to. No, we grumble about the apathetic situation and then leave the country... for good. Leaves us with nitwits for wakil rakyats - people who want power and respect but can't earn it."

It's an obivious fact that the level of competency of most of our local politicians leaves much to be desired. But Charlotte raises a good point when she said that most of the people who are capable leaders do not become politicians in Malaysia.

Therefore, the pressing question now is where do these people go to? If they left the country, why? Is there any way to woo them back?

I think the prime reason which causes capable and talented Malaysians to leave the country in droves is the uneven playing field in our country; as if the Malaysian political, economic and social system is not saturated enough with the affirmative actions inherently enshrined in the Constitution to help the Bumiputras, it is also plagued by rampant corruption and nepotism (which now goes by the euphemism of 'money politics') which indirectly causes it to reek with bueracratic hassles and widespread inefficiencies.

Malaysians have to live with the mind-boggling reality that even by working hard, dilligenty and honestly, being adaptable, humble and resourceful, success and opportunities will not necessarily come one's way. The sense of equal opportunities are sorely lacking in Malaysia.

Openness, transparency and integrity are alien notions in Malaysia and among Malaysian politicians; the mere mention of these words are frowned upon and the words themselves are a taboo among Malaysians.

I think in Malaysia, transparency, accountability and integrity are not viewed as a right but rather as a luxury; something that are accorded to the public when conditions are favourable, only when its purpose paralles those of the politicians.

Ideally, transparency, accountability and integrity begets prosperity; but in Malaysia, we are taught that only with prosperity, transparency, accountability and integrity could be gained.


UPDATE! An excellent and illuminating quote from Yuen Ai: "And I guess some people are leaving, because they dont think they have the time to wait for Malaysia to catch up with them."

great expectations?

One could not help but to notice that the political climate in Malaysia have been a lot warmer than usual for the past few weeks which mainly manifested itself in our politicians exploring their full range of human emotions; there's denial, scorn, resentment, anger, regret and dissapoinment.

The only other place where Malaysians could be treated to such a bizzare confluence of conflicting emotions is in the reality TV show Malaysian Idol or Akademi Fantasia.

Indeed, I find Malaysian politicians to be a queer bunch; their behavior sometimes does not reflect the qualities one normally expects from a leader.

I believe a partial reason for this - and this is my personal view - is that our politicians are unable to fully grasp the expectations which the public have in them. They are unclear about the kind of tasks, the nature of challenges, the amount of workload and the necessary skills which their post entails.

Granted, one does not expect a politician to be extremely well-versed in all of these things before taking the post; a politician also needs to have the willingness to learn and listen, not afraid to make mistakes in order to better themselves besides being able to humbly admit their mistakes.

Therefore, a politician should have both the prerequisite knowledge and skills to begin with and at the same time, must be willing to learn and acquire new ones. Ideally, these two traits are not mutually exclusive. Ideally that is.

When a politician have a clear idea of the things that are expected from them when they take up a certain post, they would at least think twice before complaining of not having enough time, of having too much work to do, of having too little salary to go around, of not being able to lead a normal life far from the prying eyes of the media. They will be a little less hesitant to react irrationally when scrutinized by the public, lashed out at their critics or to make seemingly absent minded comments.

They will put less importance of superficial, cosmetic, short-term and adhoc measures and gains and more on substantial, wholesome and long term measures and gains. They will think less of their own political survival and more on the well-being of the people they are elected to serve.

Politicians will realize that the public are their real masters - not vice versa - and that they are accountable for their every actions.

And even though I used the word 'politicians', I believe that similar arguments applies to leaders or all kinds as well, be it from a leader of a student body to a president running a country.

I always believed that the tasks of a leader are two-fold: first, they must ensure the smooth running of the organization they are leading and second, they must seek to improve and develop the organization itself.

Some people will focus more on the latter rather than the former; they think that the latter will guarantee the creation of their own legacy or imprint their mark on the history of that organization. But I think the former is no less effective in doing that.

It is when they tried too hard to accomplish the latter that they will go to great lengths to gain attention when ideally one should let one's success and achievements speaks for itself; besides, the legacy of good and great leader would naturally outlive the term of the leader in office.

It is precisely when that fails that they start to bear their whole soul to the public, resulting in the desperate, excessive and ugly display of emotions.

looking through the eyes of....

"Conduct may be founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes, but after a certain point I don't care what it's founded on. When I came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart."

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Today, I had the strongest feeling that I have been taking my life too seriously lately - lately as in the past few months.

I know that many of friends have pointed out this fact to me countless times before - either out of pure concern or sheer frusfration - but it felt different when you are 'induced' into uttering such statements on your own.

When someone tells you things like that, you have the liberty of calling it a malicious comment and that label will put some distance between you and the comment, which makes you feel less guilty if you were to ignore it. But when you somehow manage to bring yourself to say those things, the comment seemed to strike a chord with you and you are forced to consider the possibility that it could be true.

I felt that I have given too much importance to reason and rational thought in making the choices in my life, to the extent that my appreciation for the value of sentimentality in a decision-making process have been reduced tremendously.

I begin to perceive emotional consideration as unstable element in my decision-making process, a liability which threatens to mislead and cloud my judgements. I scorned it and tried my best to supress it while at the same time, increasing my steadfast reliance to reason and rational thought to make any decisions.

Granted, this has given me a sense of certainty and security as I go about my daily life; at times, I felt that I am able to foretell where my decisions will lead me in the near future. There is a sense of order and uniformity to my life and the things I do.

But I think this cannot go on - I cannot go on believing that reason alone is sufficient to enable you to make the best choice for the challenges in life does not always present itself with a clear cut distinction between what is right or wrong.

Life manifests itself in many kinds of colours, not only in black and white. Seeing life through the eyes of reason alone only enables you to see the world in black and white; however, seeing life through the eyes of emotions allows you to fully appreciate the full range of colours life offers. Why should I be content seeing only the black and white when I could enjoy a more colorful view?

Having a sense of order and uniformity might seemed like a welcome reprieve in this uncertain world, but it does not necessarily translates into happiness and contentment.


UPDATE! I wanted to add this quotation I culled from the June edition of the National Geographic Magazine:

"A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections - a mere heart of stone," Charles Darwin once wrote. Most of us aren't quite so rigorous. We harbor wishes and affections of our own."

hbp: my two cents worth...

I've read many reviews from newspapers, magazines and my friend's blogs about the latest Harry Potter book; allow me to comment on some of the recurring points I noticed in most of these reviews.

Some reviewers mentioned that Half-Blood Prince (HBP) lacks the magical feeling present in the previous installments and some parts of the book feel a little old. I am not exactly certain what they mean by the word 'old' but I must admit that we didn't get to see many new magical devices or spells, no new insights into the workings of the Wizarding world in this book; in fact, most of the magical devices and spells featured in this book have been introduced and properly explained in the previous books i.e. Weasly's magical clock, the pensieve, the polyjuice potion etc.

I think it would be unrealistic to expecting Rowling to keep introducing new magical devices or spells indefinitely until the very last book. One must bear in mind that this is the penultimate book in the series; at some point she has to stop focusing on introducing new magical devices or spells, and actually starts incorporating these magical elements into the plot itself. In short, the exposition of the Wizarding world with all its intricacies need to stop being the main priority and instead, more focus should be given on allowing these magical elements to play a role in the story i.e. the pensieve as a clever plot device to reveal Voldermort's past, the Weasly's magical clock as a manifestation of the uncertain and troubling times they are currently in. However, even in this book, she never failed in tantalizing and delighting the readers by offering them brief glimpses of the deep workings of the Wizarding world i.e. the horcruxes, Felix Felicitis.

Another theme which takes center stage in this book is love, specifically the different layers love works; from the typical playful, jealous-driven, teen love - which most of the main characters seemed to succumb to - to the intense, powerful and sacrificial love which managed to keep Harry safe and live, Rowling managed to have a healthful interplay between these two extremes while ensuring each retains its own distinctiveness; we scorn and sighed at the rocky relationships between the teenage characters and yet we are touched by the love and respect shown by Lily and Dumbledore to Harry.

Indeed, Yuen Ai suggested that it is this particular treatment of love in the books which gives the whole series its childhood innocence, to which some people might be tempted to call them naive; I felt that it gives the notion of love more dimension. But then again, I personally feels that it goes to show that love is what one chooses to make of it.

A few of my friends (and even my dad) said that they feel that this book is incomplete, or rather the story feels incomplete. I think in this particular book - more than the previous books - Rowling managed to provide the readers with so many answers - some are explicitly pointed out and some requires a little more thought into them - and I think some of the readers are not used to getting so much answers in a single book (I know that I need some time to get used to it; but I'm not complaining).

What is undeniable though is her ability to weave and bring all the seemingly disparate elements together from her previous books; I think that there lies her genius as a writer.

Rowling is also a genius when it comes to character development; they are so visually and vividly described till we are taken to believe that the characters are made out of flesh and blood. We are inclined to symphatize with them, reprimand them when they did something foolish or reckless, cheered and laughed with them at the hilarity of their situation. I think being able to induce such emotional responses from the readers is not an easy feat to accomplish, even among good writers.

In short, I felt that this book is one of the better books in the series; she cleverly managed to wrongfoot us once again and her talents at foreshadowing are obvious once again in this new book.

Granted, some of us might feel a bit disturbed and dissatisfied that she spent so much time setting up for the next book so much so that this new books feels more like an extension of the final book and does not seemed able to stand on its own.

However, taken on its own, I believe that this book perfectly sets the tone for the final down; she has opened up so many possibilities for the ending, even more than we would like to imagine before. This new book has no doubt left us eagerly anticipating for the final book while at the same time still gives us the freedom to continue speculating and theorizing how the series will eventually end.

Now where can I pre-order book 7?

of being wise and isolation...

I thought I post this excerpt from an interview with J.K. Rowling with The Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet on the day the 6th book was released; it contains a very interesting and insightful take on Dumbledore's attitude - which I personally agreed with.

ES: I know Dumbledore likes to see the good in people but he seems trusting almost to the point of recklessness sometimes.

[Laughter] Yes, I would agree. I would agree.

ES: How can someone so -

JKR: Intelligent -

ES: be so blind with regard to certain things?

JKR: Well, there is information on that to come, in seven. But I would say that I think it has been demonstrated, particularly in books five and six that immense brainpower does not protect you from emotional mistakes and I think Dumbledore really exemplifies that. In fact, I would tend to think that being very, very intelligent might create some problems and it has done for Dumbledore, because his wisdom has isolated him, and I think you can see that in the books, because where is his equal, where is his confidante, where is his partner? He has none of those things. He’s always the one who gives, he’s always the one who has the insight and has the knowledge. So I think that, while I ask the reader to accept that McGonagall is a very worthy second in command, she is not an equal. You have a slightly circuitous answer, but I can't get much closer than that.

ES: No, that was a good answer.

MA: It's interesting about Dumbledore being lonely.

JKR: I see him as isolated, and a few people have said to me rightly I think, that he is detached. My sister said to me in a moment of frustration, it was when Hagrid was shut up in his house after Rita Skeeter had published that he was a half-breed, and my sister said to me, “Why didn't Dumbledore go down earlier, why didn't Dumbledore go down earlier?” I said he really had to let Hagrid stew for a while and see if he was going to come out of this on his own because if he had come out on his own he really would have been better. "Well he's too detached, he's too cold, it's like you,” she said!" [Laughter] By which she meant that where she would immediately rush in and I would maybe stand back a little bit and say, “Let's wait and see if he can work this out.” I wouldn't leave him a week. I'd leave him maybe an afternoon. But she would chase him into the hut.

friendship 101

Do we have any right to 'evaluate' our friends?

I am rather uncomfortable at the way the question is phrased; 'evaluate' is such a punishing word.

I think all of us are entitled to our own thoughts about our friends. The important thing is what we do with such information floating in our heads; do we hide them indefinitely or do we kindly share our thoughts with the person in question?

It is true that a friendship requires a healthful amount of restraint and modesty, but when this modesty begins to infringe on the truth, I believe that honesty is always preferable to modesty - as the truth is always preferable to lies.

But some people - for some unknown reason - do not share this view.

I mean, isn't it more sincere to tell your friends your true views about him rather than glossing the truth just to keep him happy? Do you think he will be happy when he finds out that we have been hiding the truth from him all this time?

Expecting someone to always sing praises about you and at the same time, hide the bad things he felt about you from your knowledge does not sound like it will make a long and lasting friendship to me.

In fact, it sounds like a very primaeval notion of friendship, lacking sincerity and honesty.

In the end, it all boils down to how one respond to criticisms from others; I believe that when someone criticizes you, how you respond to the criticism is more indicative of your personality and attitude rather than the actual content of the criticism itself.

half-blood prince reviews...

I have just finished reading the new Harry Potter book; still reeling from the shock over the death of one of the characters. My opinion about the book could be summed up in the following statement: I am upset that the person who dies has to die; I am upset that the murderer had to kill.

Read the New York Time's well-written review about the book here.

Here are some personal comments from those who have finished reading the book:

I received the book this morning and I've finished it. All I can say is that it has left me feeling very upset. I usually end on an upbeat note after Ms Rowling's books. This time I was left with a despairing, defeated feeling. The magic is wonderful, as always. It is well written, however the realistic real life events are a bit too sad, and the twist, a little too twisted.
Chandni Rosser, London

Rowling just spins it all up, the intricacy and touch of the arising plot lead up to a climax that will keep your nose buried in the book till the very last word. Plenty is revealed as the author so cunningly kept the last few bits of the jigsaw. It also teaches us not to extend the hand of trust too far, and to bear in mind that death could be waiting just around the corner.
Kalon Tsang, Hong Kong, China

I thought this book was one of the best. A lot of back-story on Voldemort and a good set-up for book seven. The first part of the book did move slowly, but once the pace picked up I couldn't put it down. I can't wait for the last book!
David, Perth, Scotland

Credibility is a bit of an issue. Whereas before things seemed feasible, here that doesn't always feel the case. It did seem to be more preparation for the final instalment. Despite that it was fairly enjoyable, and staying up reading until 9am - an adventure in itself.
Jay, Staffordshire, England

In addition, here are excerpts from several reviews of the book:

What J.K. Rowling does doesn't look that hard either. She's not a showy stylist or a Big Thinker, but in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Scholastic; 652 pages), the sixth novel in the Potter series, she weaves a remarkable number of narrative threads into a complex, moving and elegantly balanced whole, without any apparent effort. Rowling loves to wrong-foot readers, and the previous book, Order of the Phoenix, reads like the loins-girding preamble to an all-out, good-vs.-evil, wand-on-wand wizard war. But Half-Blood Prince turns out to be something else: an elegant, fugal tapestry in the mode of Prisoner of Azkaban.
Time Magazine

This installment - Book Six - while still salted with patches of humor and romance, is the most harrowing yet in the long tale, which has evolved in true epic form: A journey that tests the courage and ability of all, in which some beloved heroes must die, to be replaced by younger heroes - if, indeed, any survive. The key death of "The Half-Blood Prince'' will put sufficient tears in the eyes of Potter fans worldwide to affect global humidity

San Jose Mercury News

What's suddenly made clear in "Half-Blood Prince," however, whose 652 pages easily constitute the most eloquent and substantial addition to the series thus far, is that the Potter saga works because of its deep, illuminating humor. Yes, the books are dark and scary in places--"Half-Blood Prince" has its creepy corners and moments of soul-furrowing sadness--but the real emotion driving the "Harry Potter" phenomenon is not a shudder, but a chuckle.

Hence, no darkness in "Half-Blood Prince"--the identity of which is crucial to the book's plot and revealed through Rowling's typically impeccable pacing--is so immense that it cannot be rescued by a snicker or a smirk. It's as if she means to suggest that even the most agonizingly difficult times, even the real world that lives beyond the land of Harry Potter, even a world currently enduring an insane spasm of terrorist-induced violence--analogies to terrorism speckle "Half-Blood Prince"--the world might be restored to itself through imagination. Through hope--and through hope's giddy sibling, humor.
Times Online

The wonderful news is on page 533. The devastating news is on page 608. Part of the pleasure of "The Half-Blood Prince" is watching threads of plots from the first five books come together with astonishing neatness. There are some boring passages, to be sure, in which characters rehash the past, but they're remarkably few, given the scope of Rowling's saga.

Rowling manages, this time, to put together the story with none of the flab that marred the nearly-900 page Book 5. "The Half-Blood Prince" is 652 lean pages, in which the essential plot -- Harry gets prepared for a final battle with the Dark Lord -- has just the right amount of side stories.
Detroit Free Press

So what does J.K. Rowling do in the sixth and next-to-last book, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” which was released today? She creates more secrets. This is praise, not criticism. The appeal of the Harry Potter series lies not only in the richly detailed fantasy world Rowling has created but also in the mystery in which she has shrouded it.

At the same time, both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds are being rocked by what seems to the Muggles just a string of unrelated tragedies: a bridge collapsing, an freak hurricane, a few gruesome, inexplicable murders. The Ministry of Magic knows the truth, though: The Death Eaters are on the move. Rowling skillfully brings these two plot points to a convergence while also providing a commentary on modern times. Harry decries the callous terrorism of the Death Eaters but he is also appalled by the careless disregard for the truth shown by the Minister of Magic, who is determined to come across to the public as strong and decisive, even if it means arresting eccentric, but innocent, people.

It’s Harry’s enemies, though, who keep readers turning pages. Voldemort is more of a shadowy presence in “The Half-Blood Prince” than he was in “The Order of the Phoenix” but Professor Snape is back in full-sneer, taunting Harry with glimpses of his past and raising new suspicions as to where his true allegiance lies.

In the end, “The Half-Blood Prince” leads almost everyone at Hogwarts – and probably most readers -- down a road they hoped never to travel.
Des Moines Register

This one is too true to be merely good. J.K. Rowling gets almost everything right in "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince'': A bubbling cauldron of a plot, bewitching images of a dark past, a brooding atmosphere, characters that ache with hope and disenchantment. The result: This sixth book is the best of the Potter series.

And yes, the rumors were true: There is a death in these pages. Rowling has done this before, but never convincingly. A warning to the curious: If you care about Harry Potter and his magical companions at all, this loss is going to tear your soul in two.

The best thing about this novel, though, is that Rowling has gone to greater pains to humanize villains and demystify heroes. Draco Malfoy, a bad-egg classmate of Harry's gang, will evoke pity from young Potter in these pages, and the reader will feel it, too.

This sixth book is the tautest narrative Rowling has produced since "Prisoner of Azkaban,'' yet the added richness of characterization makes "Half-Blood Prince'' a far superior book.
Herald Today

through the glass darkly...

Consider the following traits:

• Stubborn
• Rebellious
• Non-conformist
• Unorthodox

and the following as well:

• Tend to rationalize things
  
• Strives for balanced views
• Tries to be politically-correct
  
• Likes to complicate things

A few of my close friends pointed mentioned something to me which got me thinking about my personal characteristics; I've taken the liberty to list a few of the traits which I think I possses above.

The reason I separated these traits into two main groups is to highlight the sheer contrast between these two main groups, and yet how each traits in one group could help 'enhance' the traits in the other group i.e. how they seemed paradoxically different but at the same time complementary.

For instance, people often commented that I tend to rationalize things and tries too hard to be politically-correct; and most of the time, I will choose to ignore such comments and sometimes, even defended my attitudes - I feel that such insistence could stem from the fact that I am a non-conformist and plain stubborn at times.

I must admit that the presence of such traits in a single person will lead to a rather volatile and unpredictable personality 'concoction'; I think I have faced many circumstances which could back up and safely confirm the validity of this statement.

It's very enlightening for me to be able to identify and list down such personal traits. I feel that it goes a long way in explaining my attitudes and behaviors; it also allows me to make sense of some of my previous actions under several trying circumstances, some of which are quite unfathomable to me.

At least now I hope, I can see some light on this matter of the most personal and intimate nature.

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face, now I know in part; but then I shall know even as I am known."

who is the half-blood prince?

This Saturday promises to be an exciting day; the latest Harry Potter installment - Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince - will be simulataneously released at around the same time all over the world.

I must admit that I sort of forgotten how the previous book ends (might need to re-read it later...) but I'm really looking forward to know how the story will progress; we know that one of the characters will die (sniff.... so sad..) and that this particular book will supposedly answer many questions we have so far and will no doubt create new ones.

Here's a picture of the jacket illustration for the US version of the book (look at the details; tantalizing clues abound):

Ah well, I am looking forward to a great weekend snuggling up with this great book...

a hundred friends are too few, one enemy is too many...

I was reading one of my friend's blog the other day and in one of the posts, he was lamenting over the way he thought he had treated his friends, the nature of those friendships and eventually wondered whether he has any real friends at all - if the word 'real' could ever be defined in this context.

I find it that particular post to be quite distubring because, I felt that he is one of those likeable, social and warm character whom you thought would never run short of good company and friends.

Well, I don't pretend to be an expert on such matters myself, but somehow I feel obliged to share some of my personal thoughts on the matter as a informal response to his post.

I think the crucial thing about friendships at the very basic level is being able to give the benefit of the doubt to others; I'm not saying that we should always be at the ready to doubt your friends - rather what I meant was that you should be willing to cut some slack with your friends whenever they fail to live to your expectations.

Whenever they ignored your calls, IMs and SMSs;
Whenever they forget the money they owe you last time;
Whenever they seemed to get angry at you for no reason at all;
Whenever they seemed to not pay much attention to what you're telling them;
Whenever they forget to wish your happy birthday or send you any greeting cards;
Whenever the help you had previously given to them seemed to slip through their mind;
Whenever they seemed to pretend that you're not there when you're in fact directly in front of them;

The bottom line is that you need to be able to give them the benefit of the doubt whenever they don't act the way you normally expects them to act.

Maybe he left his handphone at home or his computer is slowed down due to excessive spywares;
Maybe he's thinking about how to pay for this particular meal he's having with you;
Maybe he just received his rotten scores for his assignments;
Maybe he's too tired that he's actually sleeping but with his eyes wide open;
Maybe he's busy studying for his exams;
Maybe he's worried about how he will get through this situation without asking for your help again;
Maybe he's too concerned about his sick mother;

I think it's important to realize that just as there are a whole number of reasons to easily distrust and hate someone for - at least from our point of view - 'doing us wrong', there are also an equally large number of reasons to explain their reasons for doing so.

Besides, I think it is safer for you to keep your calm and give your friends the benefit of the doubt whenever they acted irrationally because once they have cooled down after their outburst, I think they would immediately how foolish they were to have berated you so carelessly and would quickly seek an apology from you. But, if you have lost your composure at the time and fought back, your friendship with him might have burst into flames, fueled by the upwelling of rage and anger from both of you.

And to be able to give someone the beneft of the doubt requires more than just respect and trust, it requires a deep understanding and penetrating insight into a person's character and psyche. You need to be able to realize and believe that there might be another sufficiently good reason for someone to be acting the way he is acting.

Besides, I think giving someone the benefit of the doubt is a good a way to distinguish between a friend friend and a real friend. If someone could bring himself to give you the benefit of the doubt when you reacted irrationally towards them, I think that's a safe bet that he will always have your back under other, hopefully better circumstances.

I must fairly admit that it's definitely not something that could be accomplished easily, but it's one skill one might do well to learn. After all, isn't friendship all about learning?

London attacks: a reflection...

I read this editorial by Thomas L. Friedman, a New York Times columnist commenting on the London bombings and the repercussions it would have on Western - Muslim relationships; the full article is reproduced here:

If It's a Muslim Problem, It Needs a Muslim Solution

Yesterday's bombings in downtown London are profoundly disturbing. In part, that is because a bombing in our mother country and closest ally, England, is almost like a bombing in our own country. In part, it's because one assault may have involved a suicide bomber, bringing this terrible jihadist weapon into the heart of a major Western capital. That would be deeply troubling because open societies depend on trust - on trusting that the person sitting next to you on the bus or subway is not wearing dynamite.

The attacks are also deeply disturbing because when jihadist bombers take their madness into the heart of our open societies, our societies are never again quite as open. Indeed, we all just lost a little freedom yesterday.

But maybe the most important aspect of the London bombings is this: When jihadist-style bombings happen in Riyadh, that is a Muslim-Muslim problem. That is a police problem for Saudi Arabia. But when Al-Qaeda-like bombings come to the London Underground, that becomes a civilizational problem. Every Muslim living in a Western society suddenly becomes a suspect, becomes a potential walking bomb. And when that happens, it means Western countries are going to be tempted to crack down even harder on their own Muslim populations.

That, too, is deeply troubling. The more Western societies - particularly the big European societies, which have much larger Muslim populations than America - look on their own Muslims with suspicion, the more internal tensions this creates, and the more alienated their already alienated Muslim youth become. This is exactly what Osama bin Laden dreamed of with 9/11: to create a great gulf between the Muslim world and the globalizing West.

So this is a critical moment. We must do all we can to limit the civilizational fallout from this bombing. But this is not going to be easy. Why? Because unlike after 9/11, there is no obvious, easy target to retaliate against for bombings like those in London. There are no obvious terrorist headquarters and training camps in Afghanistan that we can hit with cruise missiles. The Al Qaeda threat has metastasized and become franchised. It is no longer vertical, something that we can punch in the face. It is now horizontal, flat and widely distributed, operating through the Internet and tiny cells.

Because there is no obvious target to retaliate against, and because there are not enough police to police every opening in an open society, either the Muslim world begins to really restrain, inhibit and denounce its own extremists - if it turns out that they are behind the London bombings - or the West is going to do it for them. And the West will do it in a rough, crude way - by simply shutting them out, denying them visas and making every Muslim in its midst guilty until proven innocent.

And because I think that would be a disaster, it is essential that the Muslim world wake up to the fact that it has a jihadist death cult in its midst. If it does not fight that death cult, that cancer, within its own body politic, it is going to infect Muslim-Western relations everywhere. Only the Muslim world can root out that death cult. It takes a village.

What do I mean? I mean that the greatest restraint on human behavior is never a policeman or a border guard. The greatest restraint on human behavior is what a culture and a religion deem shameful. It is what the village and its religious and political elders say is wrong or not allowed. Many people said Palestinian suicide bombing was the spontaneous reaction of frustrated Palestinian youth. But when Palestinians decided that it was in their interest to have a cease-fire with Israel, those bombings stopped cold. The village said enough was enough.

The Muslim village has been derelict in condemning the madness of jihadist attacks. When Salman Rushdie wrote a controversial novel involving the prophet Muhammad, he was sentenced to death by the leader of Iran. To this day - to this day - no major Muslim cleric or religious body has ever issued a fatwa condemning Osama bin Laden.

Some Muslim leaders have taken up this challenge. This past week in Jordan, King Abdullah II hosted an impressive conference in Amman for moderate Muslim thinkers and clerics who want to take back their faith from those who have tried to hijack it. But this has to go further and wider.

The double-decker buses of London and the subways of Paris, as well as the covered markets of Riyadh, Bali and Cairo, will never be secure as long as the Muslim village and elders do not take on, delegitimize, condemn and isolate the extremists in their midst.

I thought it was a very well-written piece which puts the issue of terrorism in the Muslim context; it uncovers the harsh realities the Muslims have to face and the difficult choices Muslims have to be able to make if they wish to gain their credibility and recover the trust and respect from their Western counterparts.

I realized that my comments might have some Western leanings attached to it, but the sad reality is that most of the Muslim countries today are, to a certain extent, dependent on the West. I am not saying that we should be willing to do all the biddings of the West or permit ourselves to be subjugated by them, but I think a lot more could be achieved if we are to work together with the West provided that both parties are willing to be open and accountable to each other, while at the same time able to respect and understand the circumstances the opposite party is in.

I think at the moment each party have too many economic, social, political and military importance of their own to protect to be able to do that; because of this, each party is only willing to selectively reprimand the failings of the other which does not hurt their own strategic influence. Such efforts lacks the visible amount of sincerity required for mutual understanding and grasp of the very problem they wish to resolve in the first place.

The point I wish to make here is that as long as both the Muslim countries and the West are not willing to view the problem of terrorism in a truly holistic manner which encompasses its real causes - economic, social, psychological, ideological - and stubbornly continues to address the matter in its disparate bits and pieces which would inevitably lead to a scattered machine gun-like policy, the problem of terorism will continue to be a recurring symptom of Western - Muslim relationships.

London attacks: first thoughts....

My dad woked me up from my afternoon nap to inform me that a series of explosions has ripped through central London, which apparently bears the resemblance to the terrorist attack. The explosions - supposedly up to 7 separate explosions hitting the Underground and several London's double decker busses - wrecked havoc with London's public transportation, leaving the city paralysed.

The locations of the attacks

I must admit that I'm still reeling from the shock of it; not that I never expected such attacks to happen in London, rather I am shocked at the sheer scale and the obviously high amount of coordination of the attacks. As more and more news of the attacks comes in, a sinister spectre of the attacks begin to take shape.

In addition, the fact that these attacks targeted London's old and decaying public transport system - which is already straining under pressure from commuters daily - and occured during the daily rush hour made the attacks seemed even more devastating. Naturally, London's public transport system have been suspended for the day and perhaps for several more days to come; this necessary but inevitable would undoubtly bring the whole city to its knees.

I could only imagine the horror of being trapped in the tube during the explosions, the panic, terror and the feeling of helplesness one have to endure while waiting for emergency rescuers to arrive. I think the fear is no less if one were trapped in the bus involved in the explosions; seeing the familiar double decker bus - the one we normally took to get around London - ripped apart leaving the upper deck exposed and thinking it could be you riding that particular bus, it just give you the foreboding sense of chills.

And to think that what we have seen so far are only bits and pieces of the attacks; I could only imagine the sheer magnitude of the full scale attacks i.e. the casualties, the injured and the destruction. I think it will be a while before the full magnitude of the attacks could be comprehended; the scale of the attacks is too difficult and mind-boggling to be fully grasped.

I realized that I am extremely lucky to be back in Malaysia when the attack occured; I am also relieved to be able to talk to Charlotte and Nik Azmi online, to know that most of my Malaysian seniors in London are safe and doing well. I think it is safe to say that all of us - both seniors and juniors - are still shaken by the attacks.

London has been my home for the past 9 months and naturally, I have developed a deep sense of longing and attachment towards the British capital. To hear that such attacks have happened in London - claiming many innocent lives and bringing the city to a halt - both pains and outrages me tremendously.

One thing for sure, these attacks will cast a long shadow on London and its citizens; it will be a long time before the sense of normalcy will return to London.

These are challenging times indeed.

resistance is futile - or is it?

I realized that it's been quite a while since my last post (well, approximately 1 week to be exact) and the truth is that I had some ideas for my next posts but I guess I'm just waiting until those ideas are fully formed, or at least, acquire a more complete and focused form before writing it down.

But I must truthfully admit that that is only part of the reason. It has been exactly one week since I returned from the UK and even though I would like to say that I am adjusting well to my life in Malaysia, I'm afraid that I can't.

The thing that I look forward to the most in Malaysia (apart from meeting my family), Malaysian food have so far proven to be more of a curse than a blessing to me; I've been making occasional trips to the toilet daily besides having stomach aches for the past one week. I'm not sure whether it's the sheer shock of consuming Malaysian food with its unabashed flavour and strong taste or its questionable standard of hygiene (as suggested by Winston) or the ungodly timing of my daily meals, but these factors have conspired to make my first few encounters with Malaysian food a rather 'painful' one (literally...haha).

Another thing which somewhat frustrated me is Malaysian politics and the subsequent reporting of it in the Malaysian media. I have long resigned the fact that Malaysian politics are rather daft and boring; whether this is due to the issues being discussed or the politicians themselves, I will leave it to your own discretion to decide on that matter. I supposed there is a difference between observing a system from a distance and commenting on it with actually being within the system and having to comment on it, especially on the nature of the comments made and the willingness to make the comment itself.

Whilst I was in the UK, I would not have hesitated to openly comment on the political and social issues making rounds within the Malaysian political circles; however, when I'm back in Malaysia, there is a distinct sense of apathy which seemed to saturate the air, which has somewhat lulled my mind into mindless complacency and ultimately invoked the so-called tidak-apa attitude which we Malaysians are famous for.

I'm not saying that I'm above everyone else or I am in any way superior compared to the other Malaysians; but there is a sense of despair which crippled any desire for you to even initiate any change. I guess this is what you get when you're in a system which forbids a healthy exchange of ideas and does not promote openness and accountability; a system where the individuals are unable to discuss fundamental issues without resorting to reflex, emotive responses; a system where the individuals impose its own self-created awards and recognitions if it fails to gain recognition from others. In short, a system which places more importance on form than substance and the notion of fairness applies only to a select few.

Such system does not promote the articulation and advancement of new ideas which could ultimately improve the conditions of the system; and being entrenched in such a system, one will naturally find it difficult to produce thoughts which could possibly point out the defficiencies of the system.

I felt that I am in such a position now. I think the immediacy of the problems to you - the fact that you are IN the system itself, that you are part of the system you are having qualms with - makes you feel a little paralysed, which results you in not being able to properly form your thoughts on what ought to be changed with the system. You are costantly bombarded with disappointing and disturbing news about the sorry state of the system until you are eventually overwhelmed by it. The fact that I've been overseas and seen a similar system which - if properly administered - could work with great efficiency and produce real fundamental results adds to the sense of despair and makes you wonder why those results cannot be replicated here.

I admit that this post penetrates deeper into the psyche of Malaysian politics and society than my previous posts; I guess to the extent that one can almost sense the feeling of futility in the writing itself. But this is exactly how I am feeling at the moment. I am truly troubled with what I saw, what I read and what I heard.

I guess the feeling of apathy and futility is further exxagerated with my daily schedule here back in Malaysia, which I must say have been rather mindlessly monotonous and unstimulating. The monotony is my daily activities is akin to a physical manifestation of the sense of complacency and apathy which is often attributed to most Malaysians. What is even more worrying is that the monotony might also be a reflection of the current state of my mind; which in turn might partially explain why I find it so difficult to form any thoughts to be written in my blog.

However, I refused to be dragged into this black hole of despair, apathy and futility; I simply would not allow it for it is unacceptable. This is one black hole which I have the chance to escape.